What my kids' counselor told me... after she had wrecked her third or fourth car...
Why? Why would she ever get help? She has a roof over her head, a warm bed, a hot meal, a car to drive AND all the drugs she can score.
She has no reason to get sober.
That stayed with me.... and later, I learned that by "being there" for her, I had actually contributed to her continued using. Hard pill for me to swallow... but I started going to meetings and started figuring out what I was willing NOT to do anymore.
It helped.
(((hugs)))