If I didn't know any better I would have thought you knew me personally. I fought with my wife for many years, had two beautiful little girls, and felt exactly the way you do now. I'm very encouraged that you have decided to seek help. Same thing with me, after 18 years is was either "put up or shut up" I "put up" and it's been 20+ years since I had my last drink. Oh, the marriage remains a bit unsteady at times, my wife doen't understand the alcoholic mind even today. But my girls are grown women now, both have families, and are happy because their dad lives a life they can be proud of. The same can happen for you. Keep it up, the best is yet to come!!!!