Glad you decided to stick around, KC. It wasn't so very long ago that I was where you are, and couldn't FATHOM the idea of living even one day without my booze. I understand that you want to be able to quit NOW and to stay stopped, but alcoholism is a disease and it's very difficult to do this using willpower alone.
And so you begin again - a little more cautious, and a little wiser, perhaps. We care, and will be here to support you.
Rowan