Originally Posted by
KC1 
OK. I dumped the third glass down the drain and am going to bed. I still feel like a total loser and a total a$$hole. What the fu** is wrong with me? I feel like I can beat this one moment and the next I am falling off the wagon so bad, I can't see straight. I hate this right now. But I just can't stop. The wine is screaming my name. ONe more won't hurt. Just try one more. You can do it. God tells me you have all been there, done that. But how on earth did you stop? I do not want to end up 6 feet under because of booze!!!
One is too much, and one hundred is not enough. God help me and thank you all for your support. I will try to NEVER let you down again. Your pathetic friend,
KC
KC1,
Okay then, what would you like to do? Sit in your s**t because it's warm? Or stand up and be the beautiful lady that you are? Oh, you didn't know that? Well, you are, you just don't know it.
KC, GOD DOES NOT MAKE JUNK!!! YOU ARE NOT DEFECTIVE!!!!
Your hubby doesn't want to admit he's married to an alcoholic so he's trying to convince you you're not. By the way, you didn't let SR down, you simply let yourself down. But that's what we do. We let ourselves down and then feel that we don't deserve anything, or anyone.
Would you say a cancer patient doesn't deserve anything and is a loser? How about someone with diabetes? Of course not. KC, please know this, you have a disease, just like cancer. What's so incideous about this disease though is that no one understands it, everyone's embarassed about it, and no one wants to admit it. It's not socially acceptable. Yet how many "bluebloods" do you think have a substance abuse problem? How many CEO's do you think have a substance abuse problem? Scientific evidence says that somewhere between 20%-25% of the people have a substance abuse problem of some sort. That means that out of 10 CEO's, at least two are affected. Out of 20 people walking on the street, 4 or 5 are affected.
Give yourself a break. You haven't lost anything until you stop trying. But when you finally surrender, guess what, you win. Why, because that's when God can be most effective in your life. When you finally say...s**t, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired." When you finally wave the white flag and say, "I give up." Then, and only then, will you begin your recovery. Until then, while you rely on yourself to keep you sober, you might as well p**s into the wind. And you better wear a raincoat cause you're get some on ya' for sure.
Your friend in sobriety,
steady eddie