Maybe just learning to find other ways to enjoy life, in the mean time.
My doctor told me....
" there must be more you want of life than your wife and kid"
It rip me to pieces to hear that. but those word stuck with me for some
reason. My life center around her and she was alway on my mind.
The song is romantic but had unhealthy results for a codi like me.
I even moved in with a female friend. She was a nurse
and took my in like a lost cat and was going to fix me. I basic
started to loose myself again. From the frying pan and into the fire.
I had a need to be in a realtionship with a woman to make me feel
normal. A combination of society morals and my sexual drive.
Being in love is very, very intoxicating for me.
Luckiy i wasn't too much of a grown up, I allow myself to be
silly and find hobbies. I started playing me guitar again..It gave
so much joy. I forgot how much i love playing music. Music was
a part of me before girls came into my life. I also like to paint.
I like aerospace, i like working on machanical contraptions, and more.
Recovery has been a challenge of balance for me.
Living a balance life style between work , love, play, and my hp.
I'm a recoverying extreemist is more like it. I take everything to
the extreem.
One rule i do make for myself today..
I'm not allow to beat up on the child inside of me, no matter what.
No matter the failures, no matter if i can't forgive or let go.