This jumped out at me....
but he doesnt realize that because of growing up like that and being lied to i HAVE to know everything to feel ok.
OK.... Please remember to take what you want and leave the rest. Also anything that I say is honestly said in love, sometimes I fail to get the delivery right... but I do mean well.
What I have in quotes is in my opinion the basic problem you have in this thought process. Because of the way you were brought up... My parents were responsible for me and how I was brought up till about 16.... then I knew it all
and they could not "parent" me anymore. They messed up and some would say alot... my thinking was pretty warped for a long time... but at the age of 18 it became "MY" responsibility.
I know the problems that I struggle with and the reactions that are hard to deal with... to "feel ok", but those are "my" feelings and I can choose to change them, I can choose to work on my issues, problems etc.... I can also choose to remove people from my life when there behavior is toxic to me.
I know that it sounds rather harsh... but I had a male friend and for 5 years we were pretty close. We tried a relaitonship but it did not work for me and so we became friends.... He never got to the point of not "trying" for that relationship and as time went by he developed huge resentments and became more agressive.... As much as I loved the guy I removed him from my life because the trust was broken, We kept repeating the same things (insanity), I kept trying to believe this would change in him... and kept trying. There comes a time when you just have to say enough.
So my question would be.... Why are you still doing the same thing and thinking there will be a different result? This really is your problem, not his.... he is a lier and seems happy to stay that way.