sorry i wrote this long post and then lost it. i thought i was suppose to stay too, marriage vows, was my excuse. you are doing nothing wrong. if you want to go, then it maybe time to go. your ah seems to be manipulating you using your vows as an excuse, i think you are right, god would not approve of you being with anyone who is making you unhappy or sick. you have a right to happiness, even if its alone with your kids,. i thought like this and ended up being crazy and 20 yrs older. it only got worse. if you want to go, go, try a few alanon and naranon meetings, may help to gain some kind of balance. maybe its time for you to stop and take care of you and your kids for a chance and give him time to take care of himself or get sick of trying, maybe he'll seek help. don't have to be forever, just for awhile. your decision to make but in my opinion, you and your kids deserve a different life, and god wants you to have one. still praying for you