Originally Posted by
liesagain 
... and when will I even be able to be ok in the relationship if he keeps relapsing?
Boundaries.
I know a lady from my growing up years. She never threw his butt out, she just held her boundaries firm. From 8 AM till 4PM he was a loving kind man. From 4 PM till 8AM he did what he did and her boundary had him not be in the house when he was being his night time self. He slept in the shed when he came home.
With boundaries you can keep your space at peace with what you are willing to find as acceptable behavior. Set a boundary and hold it is how you can remain ok with anything that comes your way.