I agree with Talluleh.
It worries me that you have asked him to understand by reading etc and he has not done that. I have an autistic son and one of the first signs of a problem with my bf was when he would not read the books I asked him to read about what we had been through and how to understand him. This resulted in his parents not understanding and disciplining my son inappropriately. I don't know the point I am trying to make here. All I know is that if he wanted me to understand something he was going through and asked me to read a book, I would have been thrilled. Being asked to understand another human being's situation is a gift. He does not seem to see it that way. He seems to see it as a burden. I would talk to him about that.
Imagine if someone had said that to one of us and you were giving advice. You are so caring. What would you say? I think you would send lots of love and hugs and I am sending them now.
You help people have better lives when you write here. That is priceless.