I think you and I share the same A.....
Two months after S moved out (to be with his new GF who he had been cheating with, unknown to me.. suspected but unknown until recently) I was still trying to get him to come and get the last of his stuff. It needed to be out of my house for my own self (it wasn't that much but it was THERE every day!).
Well, I finally called his phone and left a message that I was going to drop it in this area behind where he works. I called his boss and told him I was leaving the stuff there so no one would be accusing me of dumping.
S went nutz.. accused me of embarassing him etc. Well, he is the one who moved out and into some slumshot place with this A sl*t.. and it looks like it is what it is!
NOT my fault and besides I own my house and it is really nice, so he left the appearances behind when he moved out! On top of that, he hid his addiction from me and everyone else (it was past.. HA! Until I found his operation when he was moving out! Past indeed!).
I have had NO PROBLEM saying he is an addict. It is the truth. His sisters asked me "What happened??" I said, "S moved out with no explanaiton and I found his operation in my basement..." Both his sisters knew but had hoped he was clean like he said. They have cut off $$ support to him.
His co worker/supervisor came to my house to fix my computer. He asked What happened. I told him too.
What is the big secret? If he is using, and I know it and it is true, I will say it. If he moved out, I will say that too.
I feel not a single tiny bit of guilt. I am not using, he is. If he doesn't want anyone to know he can do two things:
Stop using (what a novel idea huh?)
Stop selling/dealing (what? and lose his supply and his income?)
If you have a secret it ceases being a secret with the first person you tell..... and if your secret hurts someone else, then it is going to get told.
Yup. He moved out and he moved into the slumhouse with a bunch of people who all use and who he helps supply. If he thinks that makes him look bad, it does. If he is embarassed, it was his choice.
His problem is his problem and not mine, no matter how much he quacks.