Hey Ohio - I can totally relate to what you're feeling. While we were still together, I begged my AH for months and months to get help. Almost everyday was an intense drama of him drinking to the point of craziness and me begging and crying for him to get help. I didn't know what to do.
I organized an intervention of sorts with his primary care physician who convinced him to enter a detox facility. Well, AH left early on his own and started drinking right away. I've been gone ever since. I've told him over and over and over again that if he wants rehab, I will help him set it up. But you know what, according to him, he doesn't have a problem. He "fixed" it all on his own. But at the same time, he tells me all the time that he can't get better without me...that leaving him is what's preventing him from getting better.
I feel guilty a lot too.
But I keep reminding myself that I stayed with him for a very long time and he didn't respect me enough to get help then. Why did he have to wait til I was gone? I don't think he is really serious about dealing with his problem. I think he is in denial and is just saying things to get me to come back to him.
I try to do what Elizabeth says...I pay attention to his actions, not his words. If he was serious about recovery and getting me back, he'd run to rehab. But he's not. He's still in the thick of it all.
Why do they wait til we leave? I think it's just a ploy. They are sick. It's very sad. A lot of A's who have posted here have said that often their wives leaving is what makes them seek help. If he's serious he'll get help.
Can you deal with the bills from where you are? Nowadays they often can be done online too.
keep posting! let us know how you're doing. hugs, neg.