The good, the bad and then some...
Well, if I wasn't so sick today I guess I should be feeling pretty great. Unfortunately, I woke up with a migraine...sinus...and needing a lot of sleep, to the phone ringing off the hook. I flipped out of course because here it is, 7:30am and my husband's friends are already calling for him to go tailgating for the football game. Some folks just can't start early enough ya know???
Well, a hot shower, 600mg of ibuprofen and 2 cups of coffee later, here I am to share my weekend and boy, what a weekend.
OK first the bad:
About three weeks ago I began to realize that my heroin addict brother was crashing at my mother's senior citizen apt. Now, he KNOWS this is in violation of her lease and that she can lose her apt. over this (because it's happened before) yet of course, he is a walking zombie and not my brother/her son and hasn't been for many years. However, mom is a chronic enabler and she's never been able to handle any guilt she feels and therefor, once he get's in, he won't leave.
I spoke with her about this AGAIN when I found out that he was there and explained that she was doing him more harm then good and blah blah blah of course is all she heard. She believes all of his lies and falls for them all hook line and sinker.
Well, after about 2 weeks of her coming over here as she always has, just to hang out for a couple days, see the grand kids and so on, I realized that she would be here for less than 24 hours, he would call and she'd get all frantic and beg my husband or I to take her home ASAP.
Of course, I knew this meant the zombie was still there and must be needing money or something and we didn't fight her about it, we simply took her home. Well, after having to do this 3 times in less than 5 days I finally told my Mom that it wasn't fair to me and the kids that we had to keep changing plans and running her back and forth into the city every other day and that she needed to just stay home and get him out of her apt. and that if she needed anything or needed help to please call.
My Mom is 80 years old. My brother is 42 years old. My Mom is pretty competant, as she can take care of herself and her apt. and is able to do the day to day things but she is not, nor has she ever been assertive or extremely intelligent. She is like a gentle, loving soul who unfortunately has always been suckered in by anyone who she feels is in need...CODIE. I love her to death but I've had to rescue her from this situation so many times that I just can't count anymore.
The land lady called my house on Friday looking for my Mom, because she hadn't seen her in 2 days and was worried. I had been trying to call my Mom all day Friday to see if she needed anything or what not. Come to find out my aunt had gone in to see her thursday morning and saw the state of things and took her home with her.
My mom just got her SS check on the third. My mom had no food, no coffee, no sugar and not even any toilet paper. Did she call me? Did she call my niece who lives 3 bolcks from her? NO. She was too ashamed to admit that once again, she had made a BIG mistake. They had of course conned her out of her money and spent it for dope. I say they because come to find out, he moved his little druggie/prostitute girlfriend in as well...and HER CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After about a dozen phone calls, my husband, my niece and I, along with my husband's brother and the land lord, went to the apt. yesterday. I unlocked the door and threw it open, pumping full of adreniline to the point where I could have thrown them out with one hand. Thankfully, they were out but all of their clothes and things were still there. Even after being called by my aunt the night before and being told if they didn't get out that night, my mom could lose her adorable apt. THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE!!!
Well, we packed up all of thier things in a huge garbage bag, went over the apt. with a fine toothed comb, finding of course needles, pipes and other drug paraphenalia, which we disposed of and we put the big bag out by the dumpster outside.
I then went to his girlfriends mothers house, which is right down the street and gave her the cat and all of his belongings, explained that her daughter's things were in the garbage bag around the corner and of course, her mom proceeded to tell me all of her horror stories of prison and so on and thousands of dollars in rehabs and bail money.
I really didn't want to hear it and I really don't care at this point.
Tomorrow, I am getting power of attny. over my mom, so that from now on, all I will have to do is dial 911 and have the police remove them. The land lord is having the locks changed on the building, as my brother is still walking around with my mom's keys. She says she only hurts herself when she falls for his bull crap.
As you have read, that is very far from the truth.
Now, I am off to take care of my OWN life today and do all of the things that I was supposed to do with my kids this weekend, that had to be put on hold in order to once again, clean up my mother's mess.
Thankfully, this will be the last time I'll have to do it myself.
BTW...my husband is off having a ball with his friends at the football game...gee, who cares???