If you do not have gas money to go to a meeting, why would you even consider going to pick him up?
A bond of love, it doesn't work that way...both partners must give 100%, day in and day out. What of a positive nature is he contributing to this realtionship?
Write yourself a list of the positives and the negatives of your staying in this relationship, hang it on your frig, look at it every day, update it as needed.
After a week or two, see how it shakes down...your answer will be there in black and white.
Time to let your brain do the job it was intended to do, think, your heart was not designed to do the thinking, and thus will never answer the eternal question...WHY?...