I told him I don't hate you I hate the addiction that is ruling your life. I also said I love you so much that is why I'm saying NO NO NO NO NO. I will not help you kill yourself and I love myself to much to allow your addiction to continue to hurt me.
Ahh, Nicole, I'm so sorry it is a tough weekend. Please read what you wrote right here...It is recovery in a nut shell and doing the most loving thing you can do for yourself and for him. Keep saying no. He has to want this and work it and choose. You made a choice...a choice for your recovery. Only YOU could do that, just as only HE can choose recovery for himself.
Now he says that if I get him out he can start recovery right away and get probabation instead of jail time. and that sitting in jail will not help him. Is that true?
No it isn't...I'm afraid he is still manipulating you and your friends who tell you to leave him there are right. Rehab is not a cure...it is a place to get the tools to practice in recovery. But if an addict wants to recover he can find those tools anywhere; even in jail. Does the jail allow packages to be mailed from publishers? If so, maybe you could mail him some NA literature (soft cover is my suggestion...I learned the hard way that a jail may not allow hard cover books) Most jails offer meetings too and there are certainly people there working a program who would speak with him and help him along. And honestly, I believe anywhere that he is safe and away fromt he drugs for awhile is a better place to be.
His choices and actions lead to this arrest. IMO, if you bail him out, the chances are he may just keep doing what he was doing and you will be heartbroken and without the bail money. Please let him face the consequences of his actions and not have a soft landing paid for by Nicole that may very well send him right back out.
One other suggestion...You are very sweet to take his calls, but he is just making you sad and manipulating you. Perhaps you could tell him that if he does not stop with the begging and manipulation you will not accept the calls? I hate to see you hurting so.
Hugs and prayers.