sorry that this is happening and that you are hurting, when my rah were together, he would disappear too. i too got tired of the missing things and hiding all of my personal things. this is just what living with an addict is all about. maybe its time for you to come up with a plan to save yourself, it won't get better until you decide to make a change for your own life, since there is no way you can make him change. he'll have to want to change for himself and it may take for him to hit rock bottom on his own, for that to happen. you don't have to hit rock bottom with him. the choice is yours.
i had to physically seperate myself from my husband, his behavior was making me crazy. i'm not telling you that you have to though, thats your call. at first, i wanted to be there for him , and i did the same things that you are doing now, all the worring and wondering. i had to learn to seperate myself emotionally and financially first,then when i was more able to seperate physically. i suggest that you look deep inside and think about what you want your life to look like in the near future, and work toward that goal.
its hard to do, but maybe if you could somehow, take the focus completely off of him and turn the focus completely on to yourself and do all you know to do, you may find life a little easier. its takes a commitment on your part, to work on you and what you want out of life. you deserve more out of life, and you can get better with or without him. keeping you and yours in my prayers.