Hi Truffles - great name!!
I am Steph and I am an alcoholic. I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I know from personal experience from both sides that the man you are with is not in recovery. I know this because he asked you to prove what he did to hurt you. This shows he still thinks he has power over his actions. My ABF does that and it is like being Alice in Wonderland. Insanity descends quite quickly!! lol
He is not using yet because he is trying to control his addiction so that he can keep a job. That is not the recipe for long term recovery. He will fail. There is no doubt about this I am sorry to say.
Listen to your heart and those wonderful instincts God has given you. As a Mum, I have learnt that ignoring my instincts drives me crazy very quickly.
IMHO you sound like the kidnapped one.
Stay close and let us know how you are getting on.