oh i do agree with noah, its not to be excused, the only thing that i did or didn't do was, i didn't get a divorce yet and every once in awhile i allowed him to manipulate his way back home, and then it was my choice, knowing that it probably wouldn't be long before he would relapse again, then he would be right out again for another 6 mos-1 yr or more. it took me a lot longer to get to where you are, so i think that you are doing good, youre reaching out. the choice is yours whether you chose to stay or go, but just in case your not ready to make the decision, try to do it emotionally and financially until you can do it physically if thats what you choose to do. keeping all of you in my prayers