Don't want to throw in the towel... want to wring their necks with it!
Hey all...
Well, not to be negative or mean or anything whatsoever, but... sharing topic, if you so choose...
Do you ever just want to forget all of the positivity and just let your addict have it?
Well, of course we all want to yell and scream and throw things... been there, done that. Not what I am talking about. I am talking about the truth of the matter here... or lots of people's perception of the truth, anyway.
My ex-ABF is just begging to be back with me... to the extreme, all... he came over the other day and left all these sticky notes about how much he loves me around my house. I know that may sound freaky, but he was actually allowed in the house to get some of his stuff while I was gone and to try one last time to fix the pipes... so no breaking and entering here. But he actually even stuck these notes to things inside of my refrigerator... to my pillow... to items of clothing... to my freakin' box of TAMPONS, y'all!
He keeps wanting to know why... why the tides have turned, why the switch has flippped... why, why, why.
And sometimes, I just want to tell him... "You want to know why? Because I finally WISED UP! Because I finally realized that all you do is TAKE from me... because you are a person who is INCAPABLE of telling the truth... incapable of making a life for himself... and instead tries to suck some of the life out of the rest of us to feel healthy... because YOU can't make the decision to do the HARD WORK and get better... and instead expect everyone else to take care of you... because that's what you do... because that's who you are right now... and that's being a loser."
You know... I know this is a disease. Been around a little too long to argue on that one anymore... but at the end of the day... do you ever want to just say... it is because the addict won't do the WORK it takes to get sober?
I feel very empowered... this is not about trying to control him. I am writing this now because I know I don't even really want to waste the time to tell him... because it wouldn't matter... because he's not "ready". In the last few weeks, I've done what "normal" people do... with everyone. For the first time... if someone calls while I am busy... I say I'm busy! Instead of trying to talk to them distracted, or stopping what I'm doing... I say, "I'll call you back when I can!" I feel more empowered at work to tell people what my limits are too...
But the thing is... I'm not sure if I'm thinking clearly. Because what I still think... right now... is that, even though this is a disease... the addicts in my life have "chosen" not to get help... because they've been offered help, and have refused it... and although I don't want to spend time faulting them... I still feel like they just don't want it badly enough.
Anyone else ever feel like they've just had ENOUGH with people who don't want to help themselves, or accept help from their HPs?