IO Storm

I recall lying on my back for over a month in shock in my hotel room

thinking, thinking, thinking about the horrible, awful, terrible, evil,

sinful, illegal things I had done. Things I never would have imagined I was capable of.

That thinking brought me to the very brink of suicide. God saved me

from myself. I vowed to "make it up" to everyone, but, I was taken

aback when I approached them with this. You see, they all knew better.

When I approached my family, especially my poor mother who I had

stolen from to gamble with, and they saw I was in recovery and under

medical care, they all told me I was ALREADY forgiven.

I think I now understand Rusty, what you were saying earlier.

You cannot "make up" for an attack with a hatchet. That is how much

we can hurt others. But there is something intangible and beyond

comprehension ; It is called grace.

Wounds heal, and the wounded person performs a miracle when they

love you enough to take you back into their arms after you have hurt

them so. They tell you, there was nothing to forgive, it was never about

the money,.....they were just so sick with worry and did not want to see

you dead, they just wanted you to to get help...to get well...they wanted

the old you back...the sweet you. They were just glad were safe and

trying.....

Ah, ....

then the wealth this experience will someday bring to another who

will feel the same shock of unimaginable guilt..........I am so

thankful for SR.



Love,


IO