Today I am feeling really guilty
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Step 4 is a good way to clean all that junk out. One day your experiences can be used to help someone else. You will have a unique ability to reach someone in a way that others may not be able to. No experience goes to waste.
I can certainly relate to feelings of guilt. I'm working my way through it now.
Keep moving forward. Things will all fall into place. This is an incredible journey of self-discovery and growth.
I can certainly relate to feelings of guilt. I'm working my way through it now.
Keep moving forward. Things will all fall into place. This is an incredible journey of self-discovery and growth.
I recall lying on my back for over a month in shock in my hotel room
thinking, thinking, thinking about the horrible, awful, terrible, evil,
sinful, illegal things I had done. Things I never would have imagined I was capable of.
That thinking brought me to the very brink of suicide. God saved me
from myself. I vowed to "make it up" to everyone, but, I was taken
aback when I approached them with this. You see, they all knew better.
When I approached my family, especially my poor mother who I had
stolen from to gamble with, and they saw I was in recovery and under
medical care, they all told me I was ALREADY forgiven.
I think I now understand Rusty, what you were saying earlier.
You cannot "make up" for an attack with a hatchet. That is how much
we can hurt others. But there is something intangible and beyond
comprehension ; It is called grace.
Wounds heal, and the wounded person performs a miracle when they
love you enough to take you back into their arms after you have hurt
them so. They tell you, there was nothing to forgive, it was never about
the money,.....they were just so sick with worry and did not want to see
you dead, they just wanted you to to get help...to get well...they wanted
the old you back...the sweet you. They were just glad were safe and
trying.....
Ah, ....
then the wealth this experience will someday bring to another who
will feel the same shock of unimaginable guilt..........I am so
thankful for SR.
Love,
IO
thinking, thinking, thinking about the horrible, awful, terrible, evil,
sinful, illegal things I had done. Things I never would have imagined I was capable of.
That thinking brought me to the very brink of suicide. God saved me
from myself. I vowed to "make it up" to everyone, but, I was taken
aback when I approached them with this. You see, they all knew better.
When I approached my family, especially my poor mother who I had
stolen from to gamble with, and they saw I was in recovery and under
medical care, they all told me I was ALREADY forgiven.
I think I now understand Rusty, what you were saying earlier.
You cannot "make up" for an attack with a hatchet. That is how much
we can hurt others. But there is something intangible and beyond
comprehension ; It is called grace.
Wounds heal, and the wounded person performs a miracle when they
love you enough to take you back into their arms after you have hurt
them so. They tell you, there was nothing to forgive, it was never about
the money,.....they were just so sick with worry and did not want to see
you dead, they just wanted you to to get help...to get well...they wanted
the old you back...the sweet you. They were just glad were safe and
trying.....
Ah, ....
then the wealth this experience will someday bring to another who
will feel the same shock of unimaginable guilt..........I am so
thankful for SR.
Love,
IO
Last edited by IO Storm; 03-18-2007 at 08:14 PM.
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