Hi RedLady,
Welcome and I'm glad you found us. SR is my lifeline too and I love it.
Shame and guilt paralyzed me too for a long time at the beginning of my sobriety. The thing is that by allowing it to overwhelm me, it caused me to relapse many times before I finally could stop. You might find that writing down your negative thoughts will help you to be rid of them. I did that in a journal which ended up taking most of a year. At the end of the year (thanks to advice from a good friend here) I burned it.