Originally Posted by
hopeful13 
Hi. New here. I am about 2 months into iop, and am finding my toughest hurdle right now is loneliness. About a year ago my wife and kids moved out, and I allowed that to be a catylist to spiral completely out of control. Now that I have returned to work and have my own apartment, I long for the companionship and family I threw away. Any suggestions on how to learn to be more comfortable with myself would be greatly appreciated
Something that has helped me overcome loneliness is to distinguish between being alone and being lonely. I'm no fan of being lonely, but I enjoy being alone at times. Being alone, you can hone up on your skills and hobbies (start something that will impress your kids), you have time to expand your education and maybe pursue dreams from which you were distracted while spending a lot of time with others.
You have kids who will always love you. In terms of loneliness, that puts you miles ahead of those who have nobody.
When I drank, I would compromise myself such that I would connect with someone else who was lonely and settle for companionship for the sake of companionship. As a sober person, I would say that it is far lonelier to be with someone who doesn't bring joy and value to your life, than to be alone.
Our culture underrates being alone and seems to pressure us (by virtue of role models, for instance) into taking solitude for loneliness.
I have made some pretty significant life-changes in the past year or so and despite having bouts of loneliness, I feel stronger for it.
Earl