i do know how you feel, i've been trying to cope with my rah's addiction for a lot of yrs, i felt like a woman scorned. i HAD to take time out to do some soul searching to get to know me. my ah and i stayed seperated a lot and each time i set boundaries or had to ask him to leave, i had to check the motives behind my decisions. what was i expecting to come out of his leaving? i realized that i did what i did because i needed to in order to stay sane and not because i was trying to pull some kind of reaction out of him. i was actually ready to stick by any boundary that was set.
in my opinion, only, i think that it would be good if you ask yourself if you are really ready to date or get a divorce, and if not, maybe ask yourself why would you want him to think that you are. in my opinion, for him to think that you are, may even cause him to not fully trust you one day, and that may cause problems in the long run.
what helped me to feel better, when my rah was not able to live here with me, was for me to focus on me and what i could do to take care of me and the kids, and to keep my side of the street clean. did not want to make things harder on me than they had to be. i know that you said that you would never cheat on your husband and this is just what you allowed him to believe, but why?
just curious and i hope that i'm not stepping out of line here but if i am, i am so sorry, i don't mean no harm. its only that i have gotten myself in this kind of situation before, knowing that i was not really sure if i was ready to be done with one relationship before stepping into another and it was more trouble than it was worth. just sharing my esh.