I am proud to say that I did not call him tonight but sad to say he did not call me either. I did not take care of me though- I wouldn't know how to do that anyway! I wonder at what point I lost myself in this process with him. I was a strong, independent women before all of this chaos or at least I thought I was. Once again living with blinders on!
Anyway I spoke with is mom for a while tonight and she was great. She is so strong and I admire her so much. She said there is no way she would allow him in her house. She has another son that is also an addict and she has totally written him off. She said some great things to me and really stressed that I need to worry about me and my kids and to not let him bring me down. I am so glad I made it through the night without calling but I wish I could have let go and not let it consume my night. I know I have a lot of work to do!