now, you got me when you said something about someone wiser, i don't know about that part. just want to share me.
i came here totally with this kind of stuff on my mind, this is what almost drove me insane. i was doing pretty good with all the other addictive behavior, but i just couldnt get past what i thought was the cheating part, even though my rah denied it, to me, it was just plain true in my mind. my obsessive thoughts were killing me, so i decided that i didn't have to know. since i couldn't believe my rah said, and got tired of trying to keep up with his every move in my head, i decided that i was gonna take what i believed, whether true or not, and figure out how i was gonna work through that. it became all about me and what i needed to do to keep myself sane and myself safe, emotionally, financially and physically. i had to start by not allowing myself to keep allowing those thought to flow freely through my head.
maybe its time to accept the fact that he's an addict and that addicts lie, steal, and sometimes cheat. this is just what addicts do. maybe it time to take the focus completely off him and what he's doing and put it solely on you and what you are going to do to make you feel better. it may have not been the right thing for me to do or feel at the time, but i decided that what i don't know won't hurt, as long as i make sure i kept myself protected. hope some of this makes sense, i know that its hard and i do feel like this may sound kind of weak, but this is what helped me to began to make so kind of sense out of my own life. i guess i had to step back and ask myself, NOW WHAT DO I DO but one step at a time, keep moving forward. keeping you and yours in my prayers