((((patch))) You have been through so much and in such a short period of time.
I know you want peace... and that WILL come. But I found with my own emotions... sometimes, I need to spend some time "feeling" them.
It helps me to journal things out ... in detail... including exactly what I am feeling. If the writing is difficult, I also burn it. That is my way of sort of "sending it up to God (or a Higher Power)" where it can be dealt with, when I can't.
((prayers))