I didn't like the other one anymore so I made a whole new shiny thread just for you.
It's hard to know how to give you some comfort cause I'm just like you. My heart - I try to control it but it just gushes love and neediness all over the place.
I've been quietly mourning a one-sided relationship I'd been having. It's helped to look at it like the disease of addiction - to just make it through this day, this hour, this minute ... just to not use this one time. To distract myself as I might ask an alcoholic to - writing, reading, working, anything to keep the hands and mind moving and not brooding.
Sometimes it doesn't work and I cry. It's okay. It doesn't mean anyone is cracking up, losing it, having a breakdown or anything like that. Sometimes it just hurts and we can't deal with it and so we cry.
I always loved the movie "Adaptation". In it the Meryl Streep character muses in an intellectual way that she wishes she could know what it was like to care about something passionately. By the end of the movie she is crying over the body of her lover. And then she knows. Passion is not just about the moments that the word "passion" brings to mind - this is the flip side. the pain side. The darkness as dark as the light was once bright. It's part of the price we pay for the good times we had.
So, in conclusion, i know you don't feel one whit better for having read that
I know because I've been there and it feels like nothing will ever help. But it will pass I swear it will pass. Take it one minute at a time when you need to.
You are in my thoughts tonight. I pray you fall asleep soon and wake up feeling a little better when you see the light of day again.