Is there an expiration date?
For the pain, I mean. It has been three months since I spoke or saw my AH. He tried to call a few times...when he knew I wasn't here. He sent a few emails...mostly blaming me and telling me I have too much pride, and it's what is keeping me from calling him. On some level, he is absolutely right...except he calls it pride and I call it self-respect...tomAAtoe, tomAHtoe.
After he left, I eventually broke down and called his mom. I was crying so hard I could barely speak. I want him to have a support to get better, even if its not me and sure, I know that its ultimately upto him. BUT, I was hoping his mother would have more pull than me. And I didn't want it on my conscience if something happened, I guess. (Is that ridiculously selfish?) I told her everything I found out..well almost everything. She said she would talk to him, but she also said he would lie about it. WTF? In my head, I am screaming "then you obviously already know what I am talking about!!!!" And then she mentioned that when his brother came home from visiting us, he mentioned that he thought my AH had a problem....WTF? How come nobody picked up the phone or sent a letter or an email or anything to let me know there might be a problem? She down-played his weed smoking as "well, ya know that was my generation." And casually asked if he was doing cocaine or something "harder". I realized my attempt was pointless and got off the phone asap with as much tact as possible.
Sorry this post is so long and really just turning out to be me venting...so my question: Does it get easier as time goes on? I know that I have read the answer to that question over and over...but I am needing some reassurance I suppose. It doesn't feel better...it just feels like I am getting used to the pain. *sigh* I have no info about AH and I am thinking I am probably better off without the "knowing" but its driving me crazy nonetheless.