33years18drunk
A) How do I change this damn name. I already don't like it. I guess I should have something a little more positive if I am going to try to get myself in order.
B) Thank you SO very much for replying to me. I have admitted to myself numerous times that I have a problem and swear that I will quit (when I feel like I am dying from the hangover and late night up/no sleep) only to go to bed early the next night and wake up the next morning wanting a drink.
I have always been a beer drinker and nothing else (aside from the occasional night out where I may have a shot or two) Problem is, I can out-drink any male you put me in front of (up to a case in 1 day if it is the right circumstances and I start early) I know for a 118 lb, 5'3" woman, that is normal. I used to be proud of that fact. Now I am realizing that when you are 17 years old and can drink every High-school guy you know under the table, you are beginning to have a problem. That was a long time ago, but it obviously started a very serious problem.
I am getting to the point where I take a sip of Vodka by 10:00 a.m. to take the edge off, start mixing it with my drinks by 12:00. Buy beer at lunch and slam at least 3 before going back to work, and continue drinking vodka and diet coke throughout the day before coming home to my family. I then drink in the closet or wherever I can to not be caught. I am hiding empty cans of beer anywhere I can in an effort to not upset my husband.
God, scarily enough, just seeing this in writing is enough to make me realize that I am really losing it!
Problem is, I am from Northwest Houston, but now live in such a small town that you can't breathe without the world knowing it. I had heard through the grapevine very recently about a fairly prominent figure in our town being seen at the AA meeting here. That is damn scary! I can't afford to have that type of thing go on or for people to know that I have this issue. My husband has a somewhat sensitive job in this town and that could possibly cause him, not to mention my kids, very serious problems! What should I do?