Notices

alone in Tejas

Old 03-08-2007, 08:16 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 16
alone in Tejas

I think I did this wrong the first time. I am obviously new. I replied to someone, but meant for it to be "out there" for everyone! See below:

Not sure where to start

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, I have never been on anything like this before, so I guess it is a start. I am a mother of three, had an alcoholic grandmother, alcoholic parents, (still alive and I am very close to them!) husband and 3 kids (one's 8 and 6 yr old twins.) Husband and I are having major issues. His father was an alcoholic, he knows how my family is, I drink and he is pissed. Am I in the right place? Can anyone tell me before I drone on further? Sorry for my ignorance. Feel like I may need some help, but don't know where to go or start! Also, want to use the damn smiley faces to the right, but computer won't let me. Can I go postal now, or later!?

Confused and alone in Tejas!
33years18drunk is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 08:26 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Ok, first off welcome! I am Kellye, a recovering alcoholic and also a Texan. You are in the right place! Newcomers are always welcome. Please let us know how we can be of help!

Hugs,
Kellye
Kellye C is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 08:30 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 16
Thumbs up 33years18drunk

Well, first off, I appreciate your response. As I said I have never been to anything like this before. I am really trying to get my, pardon the word, "****" together without ruining my life. Don't really know where to start. I know I have a problem, but I am having a seriously hard time coming to terms with it and admitting it to my hubby. Any advise? Thanks a lot, fellow Texan!
33years18drunk is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 08:45 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Well, the only thing I can do is tell you how it happened for me. I had a heck of a time admitting to MYSELF I had a problem. I kept trying to get my **** together but wanted to find a way to drink successfully. I wouldn't give up on that idea, I just hadn't found the right way to drink. So.... I tried cutting back, switching what I drank (whiskey to wine to beer), moderating the amount, rationing (buying a bigger bottle to "last the weekend" only to wake up Sunday morning and finding out I had "discovered" where I hid it from myself while in a blackout). I got sicker and sicker and my body started to shut down on me. At this point I got scared but still not scared enough. In 2004 my mom got in my face after a 3 day holiday which I spent in a blackout or passed out and she let me have it. She told me what my drinking was doing to me, to my kids, to her. My daughter had already moved back to her dad's because of the drinking and my son basically hated me and couldn't understand why I didn't care about me or them.

I agreed to go to AA that night. We went to a group in Northshore (East Houston) where it happened to be ladies night. I had been to meetings a couple times before but felt like I didn't really belong there, I wasn't THAT bad but this time was different. I WAS that bad, I had reached the point where I was taking maintenance sips out of a bottle in my purse just to keep the shakes and puking from withdrawals from setting in.

My last drink was August 7, 2004. I really didn't think I could quit when I went in there and I realize that it is a miracle that I am alive, sober and happier than I have ever been today.

There are other methods besides AA out there but I can only speak for what I use and what has worked for me so far. I suggest going to the Alcoholism board and checking it out, reading the stickies here and in that board and educating yourself. As for admitting to your hubby, in my opinion you need to worry about admitting it to YOU and coming to terms with it before admitting it to someone else. If you would like to check out an AA meeting pull up Alcoholic Anonymous on the web and do a search for meetings in Bay City. I don't know how close you are to Houston but we have an Intergroup (which you can get the number from the phonebook) and call them. Give them your zip code and they can help you locate meetings around you.

Hang in there and keep posting. It gets easier the more you do it!

Hugs,
Kellye
Kellye C is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 08:49 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and Welcome to SR!


The clicker isn't working. You'll need to type in the text on the left of the smilie from this page to get the smilie on your post.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...do=showsmilies
__________________
When I wanted to quit drinking
I started AA.
It's also a wise idea to talk to your doctor first.

Blessings
CarolD is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 08:58 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 16
33years18drunk

A) How do I change this damn name. I already don't like it. I guess I should have something a little more positive if I am going to try to get myself in order.

B) Thank you SO very much for replying to me. I have admitted to myself numerous times that I have a problem and swear that I will quit (when I feel like I am dying from the hangover and late night up/no sleep) only to go to bed early the next night and wake up the next morning wanting a drink.

I have always been a beer drinker and nothing else (aside from the occasional night out where I may have a shot or two) Problem is, I can out-drink any male you put me in front of (up to a case in 1 day if it is the right circumstances and I start early) I know for a 118 lb, 5'3" woman, that is normal. I used to be proud of that fact. Now I am realizing that when you are 17 years old and can drink every High-school guy you know under the table, you are beginning to have a problem. That was a long time ago, but it obviously started a very serious problem.

I am getting to the point where I take a sip of Vodka by 10:00 a.m. to take the edge off, start mixing it with my drinks by 12:00. Buy beer at lunch and slam at least 3 before going back to work, and continue drinking vodka and diet coke throughout the day before coming home to my family. I then drink in the closet or wherever I can to not be caught. I am hiding empty cans of beer anywhere I can in an effort to not upset my husband.

God, scarily enough, just seeing this in writing is enough to make me realize that I am really losing it!

Problem is, I am from Northwest Houston, but now live in such a small town that you can't breathe without the world knowing it. I had heard through the grapevine very recently about a fairly prominent figure in our town being seen at the AA meeting here. That is damn scary! I can't afford to have that type of thing go on or for people to know that I have this issue. My husband has a somewhat sensitive job in this town and that could possibly cause him, not to mention my kids, very serious problems! What should I do?
33years18drunk is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 09:17 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Small towns do talk I imagine others already know
about your drinking. Including your husband & children.

I would rather be thought of as an AA member
than a lush.

You could find a meeting in another town.
that is what our Sheriff does!

When you think of a better name...use
the PM box and
contact MorningGlory or Doug.

Please do see your doctor before quitting abruptly.
Withdrawing from alcohol is a medical issue
and can be dangerous. Be safe.

Take care
CarolD is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 09:35 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
teej's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Hi 33!
Welcome to SR. What Carol said is very good advice. Go see your doc. He's bound by law to not be able to tell anyone. Thats the way it here anyway.

The doc will give you meds to help you handle withdrawal. Keeps posting here and read up!

tj
teej is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 09:38 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 16
33years18drunk

Thanks TJ and everyone else. I don't feel quite so alone. I will stay on board. This definitely seems to help!
33years18drunk is offline  
Old 03-09-2007, 07:03 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Hello 33 and welcome to SR,

We never have to be alone unless we want to be. Many times during my drinking carreer, I wanted to isolate myself from the world. Eventually, I sobered up and felt so guilty and lonesome!

Keep coming here! We are true friends who care!
Missymae737 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:32 AM.