now jewelz, you know that we are not gonna allow you to feel ashame, so just go ahead and except that and get over that part.
i've been doing this back and forth so long until i ought to be ashamed, but i'm not. i'm having to ignore the thought of having to come here and tell you guys that my rah has relapsed( hadn't happened yet, i don't think) but i pray that i won't feel ashamed. i think is a part of recovery maybe for the both of you. maybe you both are not ready yet, that don't mean that it won't be soon. i think that the choice is yours to decide in your own time.
i told my rah that one reason that i didn't want a divorce unless i had to is because i didn't want him to be a statistic, you should have seen his face.
i think that you are doing so well, at least you are not afraid to tell him what is options are. i understand what's it like to not be ready. i'm back with mine too. today, i don't think about whether i'm ready or not, time will tell me when its time for him to go, until then i take it one day at a time, until i can't take no more. i'm doing the best i can to keep the focus on me and be prepard to take care of myself financially if he does have to eventually leave.
i know its scary, but like you guys told me, until i know i'm ready, take it slow. whats the rush, if the time comes, you'll know and if you try to detach mentally and emotionally just a little at a time, may then you will be prepared.
him leaving may not be the worst thing could happen to the both of you, it may be what save his life and your sanity. god knows how to direct him to where he needs to be and back to you, if its meant to be. so breathe. keeping you both in my prayers