I made an actual list!! Yes I did. My future was in my hands and yet I loved that .......man.....for sake of a better word.......with all my heart.
Let me tell you a true story. My latest step dad was a cocaine addict. You wouldn't have known it though. He was the nicest man I've ever been privliged to know in my entire 39 years. He never raised his voice to my mother, never hit her......always treated my sister and I like we were his own.
What we didn't know is my mom's house was in foreclosure, the lights were getting cut off, the phone had been disconnected and her wedding ring was gone. This man who could have warmed the heart of the devil himself lost everything they had to his addiction. My mother had to start completely over at age 58.
He's since passed on and I miss him and the way he had about him. But I couldn't imagine being in my mother's footsteps at her age.......and there are alot of women and men who have to do it. It's very real and very scarey. Drugs suck!! What drugs do to people suck!!