(((Hugs to you !)))
I know how you feel.......we get sooo fed up with them and their behavior that we just want them gone, but when they ARE gone we feel lousy.
I left my AH, and felt sad, lonely, confused.....thought I had made a mistake in moving out ...went back for a bit and right now feel the EXACT SAME MISERY and frustration I felt when I lived with him before. I plan on leaving for good this time.
Let whatever feelings you are having right now wash over you........be gentle with yourself. None of this happened overnight and our recovery is not going to happen overnight either (no matter how much we may want it to.)
I think we get so used to the chaos of living with them, that when they are not there we don't know what to do with the calmness/peace.
Much love to you.