He isn't a good problem solver is he, a much better problem maker for himself. Every single thing you mentioned that has him in such a state is stuff he created for himself. What do you do with someone who can't find their own way out of a wet paper bag? He's probably right, he is no asset to any job. Nice? Aren't they all when they are sober? That may be the worst part, the part that is nice. Too bad it isn't reliable. Just when you think nice is nice, he isn't. Hey , you know what? Life is no cake walk for any of us.
You haven't mentioned a single thing that anyone can fix but him and he refuses to get some advice or help with his problems. Things are probably going to get worse for him, why wouldn't they?
Alcoholics are like little children when they run away, they pack a bag, make a grand exit, and they are usually back before dinner or dark. Get yourself grounded. You can't do anything except stablize your own life.
Wouldn't we all like to run away?
Well, that isn't much advise is it? I'm sure you don't need for someone to restate what you already know.
When he makes "comments or statements", that upset you, I would make short factual statements in reply.
I have decided that my husband talks to me in a way that he wouldn't even talk to a stranger when he is drinking and I think I've figured out why.
I think I'm the only one he can hurt. Let me say that again. I am the only one who cares enough to be upset. He could call someone else names or rant to them and they'd tell him to shut up and sit down, F off. Power is power and reducing someone to a quivring heap is evidence that he has power. Pathetic but true I think.