(((4rw)))
I think it is harder to let go of a spouce than a blood relative because the thing is when we let go of a blood relative we are still connect to them and they will always be our relative no matter what...
Not always but sometimes letting go means we change our living situation and if this letting go leads us to leave our spouce it feels like our relationship with them will die...I have learned a little not much mind you but, I have found this out about my relationships with my As and I have 5 of them...With my blood relatives I keep much better personal boundries and I am now able to keep myself out of harms way concerning them...with my H it is another matter...however I know that in order for me to get some balance in my own personal life I just have to get some healthy boundries with him. How can I tell when my boundries are not in place? The main symptom is that I feel like I am going nuts....So what can I do to help myself? I have to decide what it is I need...I need my sanity mostly or I cannot function so I do things that keep me from going nuts like stop trying to control what my H does...he was using in our home and I had to tell him he could not do that anymore and if he does it again I will have to dial 911...I told him I was not trying to make him stop using only that I cannot be subjected to his using if he want to use go somewhere else and stay gone until he is no longer high...for now this is working for me but who knows when he might decide to get high at home again and then it will be up to me to deliver what I said I would. Oh and by the way my blood relatives would never even dream of coming around my house and using dope at my house cause they know I might just go bullistic on them....