No one should think that just because we are in a relationship that we can just up and leave it's not as simple as that. There is history, emotional ties, some times for some people you are closer to your spouse than your own family. One day you have a family and the next day the person is gone emotionally. That leaves the other person the one not using lost, feeling empty and just wishing to have their family back. We keep praying, wishing and be hopeful till there is no hope anymore. Some times people change, find recovery and we see that and think just maybe this time they will get it. We don't stay just because we like the drama, chaos and enjoy misery. At one point we made a commitment and to be a family together, grow a family together. How can it be so simple to walk away. Now I am not in any way advocating for someone to stay with an addict. Like I said in a earlier post if my best friend went through anything that I went through I would tell her to leave. But like they say it's always easier to give advice than to take your own. Right now I wish I can up and leave, never speak to him again but at this moment I am not ready yet. If it was so simple to walk away I would have done it years ago. When it comes down to it I love him but I also know I dont deserve what I am getting. So now I am working on detaching with love or anger whatever gets me there and from there working on leaving him because I know I deserve better. But please really the only point I want to make is just because we are not blood relation doesnt make the hurt any less. I dont know what it feels like to have a child as an addict but I do know what it feels like to have a mom, dad, and sister as an addict and really to be honest it hurts more now with my abf.
I hope I made sense I know I jumped around a bit here.
Hugs,
jewel