Part of recovery is like peeling away the skins of an onion, layer by layer. It helps us to examine that which we have buried so deep for so many years, but like peeling the onion, it stinks and it makes us cry.
But part of getting past the pain is walking through it (MG taught me that). And we can walk at whatever pace feels right for us, pausing to heal and rest along the way.
What you are feeling is a normal part of the recovery process, and it is part of learning exactly who we are.
However, and this is a big however, when working Step 4 it is often recommended to list your assets as well as your defects. It is important not to lose sight of all the good characteristics you have and keep everything in balance.
This is a perfect time to be gentle with yourself and to nurture yourself back to health. I promise that once you get past this (and please don't rush), you will see the benefit and purpose of going through this. As they say....more will be revealed. But first we have to keep building the foundation and we know when the time is right to move forward.
I'm sending big hugs and a pat on the back for sticking with this.
Hugs
Ann