I know you are all right and it is so helpful to hear how you have all been where I am.
It is very much like mourning the death of my husband. I am mourning our relationship. I am mourning the person that I married and trying to convince myself that he isn't the person that I married 9 years ago.
His dad and stepmother really put things into perspective to me last week. How they feel, and I too, really, is that we are watching him die from a terminal illness. There's nothing that any of us can do to help. We are helpless. I refuse to believe that he is hopeless, but that is only for him to determine. I really feel that in the next couple of years, we will be burying him. He is 200 lbs overweight, has high blood pressure and diabetes as a result of his lifestyle, and is a raging A. For my children's sake, I hope that he finds a way to beat this. But I know that I can't sit here and have his disease in my face every day.