When it rains it pours---I am sorry for your pain..It is enough to watch your Father without having to deal with the AH.I think you are very focused for someone who is going through all you are going through.Losing a parent is the hardest thing. I could say that you almost have to do the ''letting go"" with yout Dad as well--and it is so hard to do...I know. Sounds like they have done everything they can do at this point. Let his last days be peaceful with you--don't let your AH interfer with that if possible. When my Dad was dying I just stayed by his side for 2 days and talked about happy old memories and how much he meant to me...and he was not one who talked this way usually.He was in pain and I didnt let anyone touch that from the outside with their crazziness. My brother showed up drunk and I had him removed(never thought I could be that strong)My AS was also limited as to visitation...Worry about your Dad right now---let all the other crap go---it will still be waiting for you when this is over,,unfortunately...You sound like a very strong person--take care of you as well....I will be praying for you nad your Dad.....