jessieandme2003,
What I offer is from one who is working on her co-de recovery, but one of the best pieces of advice I have received and am gently reminded of frequently, is that you only have to make a decision for today. The "one day at a time" concept sometimes needs to be "one hour" at a time. You don't have to make the perfect decision - but you do need to decide or someone else decides for you.
I am thinking of you and praying for you to find 5 minutes of serenity today.
Petunia