It does suck ATS, but it also gets better. More so every day. Try not to beat yourself up over the worry you caused him. Everything happens the way it should. When I do stuff like that I can choose to look at it another way, too: that it could be a positive thing - no one knows what adds up to someone's breaking point. You apologized and it's obvious you regret doing it. Forgive yourself.
What you've done - choosing the best life for you - takes courage. I hope your new home is filled with serenity and love.