but I know how it feels to think so. Sometimes it helps to journal and then take a good look at what we write:
Originally Posted by
wantthistowork 
We talk about this all the time
Originally Posted by
wantthistowork Yet he has burned me so many times in the past.
Originally Posted by
wantthistowork But he says this time he is really, really trying.
Originally Posted by
wantthistowork He says he wants us to work
There are 3 talking points and one action point. The action one says you've been burned many times in the past. Past behavior is a good indicator of present and future behavior.
Originally Posted by
wantthistowork Alanon meetings seem weird-people just talk about their daily lives and nothing about what is really going on (IMO), hold hands and pray. Didn't really work for me, not saying I won't try again but I was pretty disappointed. How do you not accuse him of doing something you are suspicous of? How do you not live in fear that you are getting lied to? Nothing to do with being controlling, just about having an open and honest and trusting relationship. How do you move past?
You may find the answers to those questions if you attend support meetings with an open mind. Do there what you like and don't do what you're not comfortable with. I thought I was non-controlling, too. Then I tried to control my recovery. I wanted to heal MY way or no way.
Take care and keep posting - talking things over, reasoning things out - tools I learned in Al-Anon - have really helped.