Nanita if you are like me, an alcoholc, I can not drink ANY alcohol safely. I am scared to death of relapsing as a result I am not willing to try anything with alcohol in it. In AA I have heard to many fellow alcoholics who went back out after consuming near beer, cough syrup, even one of those liquer (SP) candies, thinking that it couldn't hurt.... but being an alcoholic it did. Some of them went back out for years due to something as innocent as a near beer.
Nanita be thankful that you still want it, you may have fallen off of the horse, but you need to pour the rest of it out and get back on the horse, otherwise it will get tougher with every drink to regain sobriety. Get to a meeting, call someone, you have phone numbers now of folks you know will be there to help you. Heck they could even post here with you.