criss-cross....i think you are married to my xh...only kidding. mine would do this same crap. it was always a last ditch effort to get back in. and i was the only one he ever, ever called, too. that is because i was his number one enabler.
when i divorced mine the first time, i had to file bankruptcy on all of his medical bills. and every single thing i filed on were his bills from all his detoxes, treatment centers, etc.
i'm so sorry you are going through all this crap. and it is crap. mine never stopped the quacking and manipulating, which sounds like yours, too.
my xh has now been through at least 25-30 detoxes, half-way homes, treatment centers, mental health extended stay centers, psych wards, and any thing else you can think of. he never entered any of them until he was homeless, or court ordered.
you could probably say the meanest things on the planet earth to your husband, and it would not matter......mine had the cleverest ear filters and would hear only the key words that he would zone in on....words that sounded to him like he had a chance back in. i could have said anything, and it would not have been heard except what he wanted to hear.
for instance, i could have said to him.....honey, i've just returned from having an afternoon love fest with three men....but i love you to death.
what he would have heard was.....i love you to the end and will always provide you a home, food, and money, amen. you are the man, baby. forever and ever.