Tyrant

hi

i don't know what to do? i worry if i am doing the right thing...things seem so different now...should i start my pills again or is this how i am supposed to feel. im on suboxne i think thats how you spell it the doctor also prescribed KLONOPIN so i havent started that klon stuff said to take that when i wanted to take the norco or vics or whatever i was bad...i think i have turned into a monster wait i know i turned into a monster...my friends are all on the meds...its a pill swamp adventure from hell...
we all are $ with cars and houses and stuff and now i am an outsider and i feel like well guys im sorry but i dont want to keep taking pills....well
i now know i have a couple maybe 2 friends that are happy for me....like high five sweet
i also have about 15 people girls and guys well they just are like blah to me know....hmmmm i didnt think the pills had that much control

all i know is i am very sad and alone in this huge house with yeah everything....
the pills made me just function but now i go back and look at papers and dates and stuff and messages and stuff and i ask WHO AM I?

my mom died a couple years ago
my dad was murdered a couple years ago
my dad left me the entire estate and HIS life....i lost MY LIFE
i have to take control over everything...
i am not happy
i would like to have my old life back....but now i am really afraid cause i dont think i can trust ANYONE.

is it normal to look at things different?

10 plus years of FUN FUN FUN FUN

oh the adventures so much fun...so much....

but i think now the 10 years of me doing pills was just a waste of time?

i just remember that there is alot of bad and i must beware i serious have no one to trust i dont even trust my accountant now that i think about it...i dont even know if i can trust you...