Thanks all. I believe it all boils down to God (your higher power that is). Noone can take the place of the experience of someone's relationship to God in their walk through sobriety. all the steps boil down to this, right? True step work is your relationship with Him (or how you see Him). For example, you can have 2 people go to church, read the same bible and one has more joy then then the other. The difference is their "relationship" in their approach, not the approach itself. Same with AA. You can find an argument for anything..Did the steps too soon, didn't do them right when you did them, waited too late, glossed over it, didn't confess enough, didn't amend enough, slouched on meetings. And for sponsors, what if you have a sponsor that is not good at "sponsoring". You can have an excellent rep that is a hideous manager in the workplace (not everyone is a good sponsor). I actually had someone tell me (only 43 days into this) I wasn't working my sponsor enough?? Now I have to feel guilty over my sponsor on my sobriety? If my best thinking got me here, it serves reason it will not get me anywhere "working" my sponsor? .... Basically, this is all about realizing a power greater than ourselves, then who are we to take that control back out of Gods hands and put in our own efforts, even efforts designed by Him - steps, sponsors, support (worshiping the gift over the giver so to speak). In terms of resentments, listing all people you are "mad" at? That is assuming you have lived your life with grudges. I personally always mend an issue before I move on for the most part. IOW, I learned that step along time ago and pattern my life on that every day. So to assume everyone needs a formal list of who they need to stop hating is presumptious everyone has same needs in terms of forgivness and cleaning out. So for that step, I have already handled it or better continue to "handle" it w/out formally addressing that step in AA. Case in point, let God lead you through the steps as He sees fit, not somoeone else. Just my 2 cents.