I, too, am afraid if I don't call I might miss an opportunity to help her.
Ahh, detachment ...
My ex used to obsess over his father's health. Every time the phone rang, no matter how inconvenient, he had to answer it. 'What if it's my father and he needs help?' well in that case he should be calling 911, not you.
for a while my alkie jailbird brother was calling us collect at midnight demanding money and ex refused to not answer the phone when it rang in the middle of the night. 'what if it's my father?' so then he had to deal with an angry abusive homicidal addict on the other end. DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE! YOU CAN'T HELP HIM ANYWAY!!!!
I mean, what, are you God? that you and only you can help when someone's dying? that's what 911 is for. Someone who is drinking themselves to death, is taking their life into their own hands, and you canNOT stop them. 'Helping' them is not helping - that's the hard part.
Realistically. If someone's bound and determined to kill themselves, you can't stop them anymore than you can stop them from drinking themselves to death. If someone has fallen or had a heart attack, you can't help them, they need an ambulance, not their daughter unless you are an EMT or an MD! Death is inevitable for all of us, and for some with incurable illnesses like alcoholism, death is the only way out of the pain. No need to hurry it but your feelings are totally understandable when you wish someone would just get it over with and die. I used to feel that way about ex AH and his suicide attempts. Just get it over with! and stop putting me through this torture! let me get on with my life. I ended up divorcing him and then the suicide attempts stopped.
When I was a child I used to dread my parents' deaths, not because I didn't want them to die and leave me alone, but because I knew I could not grieve like everyone would expect me to and then they'd think I was some kind of monster. Then when my dad did die, I cried horribly at the service, because he would never be able to change and become a real father. He was no great loss as he was, but now there was no possibility of improvement and that's what I grieved over.
oh well ... progress not perfection ... we all do our best.