Thanks be for being anonymouse. I could NEVER admit my stuff in person. If I had your stuff I might feel the same as you do.
I take care of my mother and my grandmother because I am an only child and I feel I should not because I care for them. In my whinny moments I think why do I have to take care of them. They never took care of me. Then I feel guilty cause its just me and them and some really really distant cousins. I helped take care of my uncle too but hes dead now. So you might say Im an only only now. LOL.
My grandmother has alzheimers and just went into a nursing home recently. My mother still lives alone but I stop in frequently and she has meals on wheels and the state provides help three days a week.
She is adamant about not going to a nursing home. My greatest fear is that she wont be able to live alone. I DO NOT want this woman in my house. If she is awake she is complaining. Im afraid if I was around her 24/7 it would wear off on me. I dont like me like that.
So yes sometimes I do wish she would just go way so I dont have to deal with the drama that I know is going to happen when she cant live alone. And yes I do feel guilty for wishing it.