Hi again tubesk, We are here to support...I wish you all the best in your decisions, and wish you health and happiness..
Soberrecovery has many forums for different problems and issues that people would like to share and learn about. This forum is alcoholism, there is a substance abuse forum, mental health forum and many others. You may find different forums helpful for differnt isues.
About alcoholism, it is a very tricky and diceiving addiction, disease, or what else you would like to call it... Most alcoholics are alcoholics way before the symtoms show (not saying you are one) according to the book "Under the Influence" Heres some info that might help you or others, and I quote
""At every stage the disease itself prevents the alcoholic from realizing that he is addicted to alcohol. In the earliest stage, when the cells are adapting and tolerance is gradually increasing, the alcoholic does not consider giving up alcohol because nothing indicates that he is sick, and no one else suspects that he might be. In the middle stages when his cells have become firmly dependent on alcohol for functioning, he maybe aware that he needs alcohol more often and in greater quanities, but he does not know why. He does not know that his cells have been altered, nor does he know that his physical reaction to alcohol is drastically different from the nonalcoholic's. He only knows that when he stops drinking, he suffers, and so his first priority is to get alcohol back in his system.
As the alcoholic drinks more and more often, alcohol's toxic effects disrupt the brain's chemical and electrical balances, causing profoundpsycological, and imotional disturbances. The middle-and late stage alcholicis frequently irrational, deluded, and incapable of understanding what is happening inside him/her."
Bottom Line is: "Because the physical damage is not evident until the later stages of the disease when the alcoholic is clearly addicted and can no longer reliably control his drinking, it is critically inportant that the early psychological and behavioral symtoms of alcoholism be recognized for what they are." Under the Influnce" PG's 95-96.
No matter where we are in our recovery, we are all striving for one thing, (I think) understanding, compassion and hope. I wish you all of these things.
This post is not a debate, it is just info I found to be useful to me, and wanted to share, lol, hugs, hope3....