Tubsk,
You've put alot of thought into this, and I understand where you are coming from. Who wants to replace a bad thing with another bad thing?
I had to quit drinking, but drinking filled a void in my life. When I quit drinkng the vast, dark void was still present. What do I fill the void with??? I felt so lost when I quit drinking. I felt like I lost my best friend. I felt like my life was over. What could I do next? I felt like nothing.
My whole life, I've felt like something was missing. I always felt "less than" others. I was always full of insecurity and self loathing. Drinking took all that away for me. When I drank, I felt confident, strong, handsome, funny.....you name it. It was like a magicial potion. Later, as my drinking progressed, I'd "work out" all my problems during late night sessions with a keg of beer. I thought of my drinking as sort of a therapy. I was discovering my "inner child".
Isn't this insane? I fully believe that alcohol made me insane.
It turned on me. It filled the void, and made up for all the things that I lacked, but it was really destroying my life. When the bad really choked out the good... I quit.
Here's the part I want to let you know...
AA is teaching me how to live a healthy, decent, moral life.
Even if I wasn't an alcoholic, I'd still find a 12 step program to be useful for my life. Why? Because the program is filling the void in my life. The program is "fixing" me. I am a broken person. AA is rebuilding my life. It's a healthy coping mechanism for me. The support is fantastic, and I feel for the first time in 17 years, I am growing.
I'm not really sure what I'm trying to accomplish for you by writing this. I'm sharing mainly because I need to share with someone. Nobody wants to be alone. Before I found AA, I sure felt alone...
It's your choice. Nobody is going to force you to go. If it helps you, why not keep doing it??
chip